When you have a full time job and personal projects in your hand and the ball is rolling, Its on high gear. All of the sudden everything stop. Quarantine life due to COVID19 took over. Its like you have a car driving at full speed that suddenly stop and the smoke from the tire fills the air. You can’t see much and while you are trying to figure out how to deal with it, work deadlines line up, you have extra routine to keep the family running, new schedule forming (kids online classes, food to be prepared instead of lunch with colleague, nap time, milk time, bath time, couple time etc), personal deadlines being pushed back and of course the ego in you still demanding ‘me time’. The first month of quarantine and work from home was messy. I don’t have to repeat myself on the anxiety and uncertainty feeling that surround the atmosphere. March 2020 was interesting and life learning.
The viscious cycle starts, when you get tired. When work took over nights of sleep. On top of that you get frustrated as its getting harder to cross things on your checklist (expectation not met there). Of course as any normal person, yours truly resort to the easiest solution, blaming other people.
Again the only thing that heals the situation was dengan izin Allah or God’s will.
As the world got more ill, you begin to realize you only have Allah swt. So you surrender more. You cannot control how each minute works.
You focus on your blessings deliberately and intentionally. On top of saying them in prayers, I repeat the in my journal. Journalling is a tool that allows you to structure your thoughts and analyse them in a formal and active way. Instead of saying it to someone or writing it in social media which we know it is always filtered as its not your conversation with you. Its you having conversation with so many other people. Journalling is more private and real. Write your fears and pair it with your blessings until your fear cannot compete no more.
Sleep. Just sleep it off. The view and perspective is always wider and better when you shut your eyes early and wake up early. How do you want to grow if your view is always contricted?
As a working mum. I have to keep reminding myself. Its ok to be behind on things. Its ok that all the pieces are not in alignment. Its ok when other people has expectation that I can’t meet , vice versa. Quite that down. Its a rough time and its ok if we checked just one item on the list everyday. If its just work stuff that day. Then its work stuff. If its an exercise routine that day. Then its just that. Because as working mum or working parents, your plate is already full to begin with.
Its July 2020. Alhamdulillah its easier and became a new normal and things got more productive. Stay safe everyone and breathe.