How do you want your kids to look at you?
Loving mother? Career driven?
All of the above?
I often wonder as I nursed my little girl to sleep. What’s playing on her mind when she thinks of me? I am a full time working mum and after work I assist on a small family venture, a start-up if you can say so. Which means whenever I have spare time I would need to allocate them between family and my next task and of course house chores. Is there a balance to that? I would say no. There are times when one has to come before the other or it just gets chaotic. And for me that is the happy medium, solving one thing at a time. When I was in my 20’s I want everything to be done at an incredible speed. But entering 30s, I feel like entering a Zen zone. A much calmer feeling rush in. Taking thing at a slower rate is fine by me as long as I know where I’m heading.
I learned this technique made famous by Warren Buffett, the billionaire investor. The art of eliminating options to focus. You can find the article on it here at Vintage Value Investing. I’m sure many have heard of it where you list down 25 things you would like to do in this lifetime. Then eliminate 20 of them leaving your top 5. And that top 5 should be your focus and your priority and you should do NOTHING else but those. The rest he called them as distraction to get to the top. It’s amazing what you can learn from those who had done it. I agree to that. Especially when it comes to us women. We have a lot of things in our mind and we think they are important when most of them are just distraction and noises keeping us away from seeing the big picture.
For example something that all working mum can relate to. The guilt of working. You feel that you spent so much time working that you missed all the first things you baby did. Yep, that guilty feeling is toxic. That feeling would come and go as long as you don’t let it stay. When you choose to spend time with your kids, do just that. If you are always in action at work, same goes when its playtime. It’s not just bring them to a playground so you can go through your IG. Play and interact with them.
Be it if you are a working mum or stay at home mum or your own boss-entrepreneur mum. Your kids will not remember the bad times, their innocent mind will not allow it, but they will remember all the good times. So make more of that memories.
I’m a working mum and I want the feelings my daughter get are that women can be successful, it’s alright to fail as many time but giving up is not an option, mummy loves spending time with her family, mummy loves dressing up, singing and dancing with her, mummy always says positive thing etc. Those feelings or sentiment can be nurtured stronger by action and not words. So set a good example for your kids.
If you feel burnt out or overwhelmed. Take a few hour off. Get a sitter or of course hubby to pitch in and do your thing.